Creative Writing: Blending Concrete Detail With Abstract Themes and Generalizations Pt.2

Last time, I gave you an introduction to concrete detail versus abstractions and generalizations. Today, I will focus more on where and when to actually implement these different forms of descriptions. However, for a review let's briefly go over the differences once more.

First off, you need to keep in mind that these are all forms of description. The differences between the two is in the scope. 

Abstractions and generalizations are broad forms of description that give an overall idea of what is being described. They should be used sparingly in your writing because they don't paint a strong enough image for the readers. They also often rely on telling as opposed to showing. For example:     

      She was nervous as she approached the hallway.

Notice that instead of actually showing how she feels through actions, abstractions cut through that and just tells you. But keep in mind, it is still a description

Concrete detail on the other hand, doesn't come straight out and tell you. Rather, it creates an picture for you through the use of particular detailing. Your writing should mostly contain concrete detail if you want to create a truly vivid image in your reader's head. For example, using the previous detail, notice how much easier it is to actually picture the nervous girl:

     She used the sleeves of her stained wool sweater to wipe the sweat from her forehead before squinting into the darkness that lay before her. She rubbed her moist palms against her jeans before shoving her hand back into her side pocket and hastily pulling out her mini flashlight.

Notice how you can sense her tension in how her actions are described. 

However, it is one thing to know the differences. It is another thing to understand when and where to implement them. Keep in mind that when you use concrete detail, you will be drawing attention to something. Therefore, you don't want to use particular detail when describing something of little significance. It takes the attention away from what you really want to stand out.

In those instances, you are better off using abstractions. You don't want your reader focusing on the ridges in the bark of that tree. You want them focusing on the strangely glowing emerald ring nestled among the tree's roots. Let's use a few examples to emphasize this point. While there is a bit of description of the man, focus on the tattoo and the pipe. Which one focuses more on the pipe and which on the tattoo? What do you think would be more important in the context of the passages?

1. The pipe was not far from the portly man's body. It was a simple metal pipe, though rusted and stained from the blood. It was curved slightly, perhaps from after being struck against the man's head. He doubted there would be any fingerprints, though he'd dust to make sure. But whoever had done must have worn gloves. There were no fingerprints on the gun just a few meters away after all. He doubted the pipe would have been the murderer's first choice.The detective looked back at the body. The collar had been torn. The detective knelt down for a better look. With his gloved fingers he moved away the torn collar, revealing the man's pinkish chest, as hairy as if he had glued a mop to himself. The detective was searching for some piece of metal that would support the idea of this being nothing more than a robbery. Instead, he found a recently shaved piece of flesh just above the belly. Stranger than that was the tattoo."V F S M," the detective muttered, trying to make sense of the letters.

2. The pipe was not far from the portly man's body. It was a simple pipe, rusted though and now stained with red. The detective looked back at the body, puffed up like a blow fish, though it was likely from the buffet just inside as opposed to being in defense. The collar around his fat neck had been torn open, buttons from the shirt now floating in the puddle of rainwater and blood. The detective knelt besides the corpse, his eyes scanning over the mop of chest hair for any trace of jewelry. Instead, after moving the shirt a little more, he came across a strange tattoo nestled in the forest of hair. The spot of flesh had been recently shaven, still swollen and purplish from when the man first got the tattoo. The letters were wavy and elegant, written upon a banner circling around an intricately painted globe. "V F S M," the detective muttered, trying to make sense of them.

Can you tell where the focus is in these two examples? Notice how the first spends quite sometime discussing the pipe. While a murder weapon is important, it spends little time at all mentioning the mysterious tattoo. In a murder mystery, wouldn't you think the tattoo would be a little more compelling to read about? That is why in the second, after a brief description of the pipe, the passage closes in onto the man's tattoo, weaving a description of the man in as well. Readers are more likely to remember the tattoo, which in this context is far more significant that the murder weapon itself. So this example demonstrates what to focus on. But what about when? 

Timing is an important aspect because it can also make certain things stand out in more subtle ways. This is a bit more difficult to make an example for because it can span over the entire story. Instead, imagine a romance between two friends. We've seen this sort of thing before, right? The guy and girl are great friends, but while the girl is in love with the guy, the guy doesn't have a clue (or vice versa). Towards the end, perhaps after some climactic event, the guy suddenly remembers the way she picked him up off the sidewalk and took him home from the bar, too drunk to remember his own name. He remembers going to the movies, paying more attention to throwing popcorn in the other person's mouth as opposed to watching the movie itself. All these events could have happened during the course of the story itself, but suddenly they take on more importance, don't they?

When you revisit instance like that in your writing, it is always best to pick up on the particulars to really stress the importance. You might have used abstractions before like "She threw the popcorn straight into his mouth and he ate it." Now's your chance to go back. How did the popcorn taste? How did she smile and laugh when she threw it? 

Once you can do things like this, you're ready to focus on other aspects of story writing. But remember, a story is nothing without its ability to create an image in the reader's head. Otherwise, it becomes a summary of events.

Let's see how much you understand when it comes to concrete details and abstractions. Try and tell me in your own words what are their purposes and what are their differences. And if you can think of examples to share, that would be even better.

Take care and happy writing gang,

E.E.